Wednesday 16 November 2016

What role for anger? Part 2 - The Modified Jesus Strategy

To briefly recap: “Trust therefore marks something like the outer limit of anger.  As trust builds, so does anger diminish.  Trust signifies that the relationship has been restored (or that we believe it can and will be), and the original anger is no longer needed.  In turn, forgiveness is a sign of this restored trust. Forgiveness means that I am no longer angry”.

It seems to be widely held that one notable ethical psychologist – the youth known to us as Jesus of Nazareth - argued that you are best starting with forgiveness, and trying to avoid the anger part altogether. In other words, forgive your transgressor straight away, and go right to the trust building part.[1] The idea here seems to be: by the power of your (loving) example you can persuade another of their wrongdoing.  This is the gentle Jesus of folklore. Many see it as naïve.

Nevertheless, according to extant accounts, the young Gallilean did see a legitimate role for anger in at least one circumstance. Clearly, in that particular case he wanted to point to a transgression, and in a fairly dramatic fashion.  It would seem that money-lending in the Temple was, for Jesus, a red-line issue. 

But this is what is interesting about it. This was a case of anger at a set of systemic, social practices rather than at an individual, personal transgression.  Indeed, these were practices that that tore at the very fabric of the moral order of his society (as he saw it).  However, despite this, his anger doesn’t seem to have been personalised – in other words, it doesn’t appear to have been directed at anyone in particular.  His actions in driving the money-lenders from the Temple, and his accompanying words, stayed pointed at the issues.  As I argued in my first post, this is the very essence of legitimate natural anger. It forcefully points to an independent standard that has been breached.

So why, then, does Jesus seem to have endorsed anger at a general social level, but not at a individual and circumstantial level? Part of the explanation may be this: getting angry at someone in particular personalises it. And this brings major risks.

More precisely: if the person who has transgressed against a standard already (tacitly or explicitly) agrees that the standard is legitimate, then it in all likelihood means that you don’t have to get (very) angry with them to make them realise they’ve done wrong.  You can just (calmly) explain to them what has happened. 

On the other hand, if they don’t agree that the standard you are pointing to is legitimate, then getting angry is unlikely to make them any more receptive to your argument as to why that standard should apply. This is in part because anger can be too easily interpreted as being about their personal failure to meet the expected standard, rather than being a forceful assertion of our wish to be treated according to that standard.  In short, anger can be too easily seen as being about moral judgment, or blame. As, indeed, it often is.

Why is this a problem? Because the human ego will instinctively work very hard to maintain its integrity in the face of a challenge.  It will tend to self-justify, rationalise, deny, lie, lash out, push back, blame-shift or just plain obfuscate. It takes moral work to overcome these tendencies and learn how to gracefully accept responsibility for our actions, just as it does in learning how to manage our instinct to anger.

In other words, legitimate natural anger is not easy to pull off in practice at a personal level. Most people are, in my experience, very bad at it.  Focusing one’s anger on calling attention to the issues rather than the fact of personal responsibility (i.e. blame) requires genuine presence of mind, and a great deal of moral maturity.  It also requires a very good understanding of the person you are getting angry with, and how they are likely to react.

That’s why expressions of anger mostly just lead to angry argument, where personal offense is taken, and defence and counter-attack become the pattern.  Frequently these arguments are not resolved, and just die into silence, to be picked up again when some other trigger occurs – unless and until a trust-building move is made by one of the parties. This either takes the form of an apology and plea for (partial if not full) forgiveness by one of the parties, or a recognition that the other party has (somewhere in the argument) made a legitimate claim. And unless there is already a lot of underlying trust already in the relationship, these sorts of encounters, if repeated, can end up being poisonous and/or terminal.

Alternately, getting angry with someone you barely know (and hence have little or no basis of trust with, or who has no reason to care about you) is likely to mean ending any chance for an ongoing relationship at all. 

To summarise, then: Anger rarely works unless a) at some level people already agree with you (i.e. they accept the legitimacy of the standard you are pointing at with your anger), b) they are morally mature enough to accept the moral judgment implicit in your anger, and/or c) they trust you enough (or care about you enough) to want to continue to engage with you. 

So why is anger so attractive, if it’s so potentially ineffectual?  This gets us back to Nussbaum’s argument.  Nussbaum argues that anger is directed at inflicting pain. I previously suggested that this was not the case, at least in the sense of a desire for retribution.  However, there is another sense in which this is true, albeit indirectly.

Anger makes us feel better because getting someone to see our legitimate claim to suffering also involves them accepting responsibility for it, which is - if it is authentic - painful to them. In this sense, inflicting such pain comes firstly from more or less forcing someone, through our anger, to empathise with us:  Now you understand how I feel!  This alone makes us feel better: we feel understood, validated. But there is always another dimension to this forced empathy: the pain someone feels at feeling responsible for causing our suffering.  Call it guilt, or shame, or remorse, or whatever.  This kind of pain is a sign that someone not only has understood our legitimate claim, they have taken responsibility for it.  And thus, it can also make us feel better. Our anger has achieved its purpose, and we are vindicated.

But: It is this dimension of anger than can easily slide into the notion of retribution, with all the consequences that Nussbaum highlights. We feel better when someone else feels remorse, because it demonstrates they have understood and accepted our claim.  And this is why it is so problematic, and why is so rarely works: because sentient creatures tend to do anything to avoid involuntary suffering.  As I said, people will tend to self-justify, rationalise, deny, lie, lash out, push back, blame-shift or just plain obfuscate if it means avoiding the pain of remorse. It takes moral work to overcome these tendencies and learn how to gracefully accept responsibility for our actions, just as it does in learning how to manage our instinct to anger.

But this has two paradoxical implications.

First: If the key to anger’s effectiveness with a ‘transgressor’ is the degree to which they are able to accept responsibility for their actions, anger is probably unnecessary to the approximate extent that it will be effective.  In other words, anger works best on those people who are already morally mature, and hence probably are already more responsive to calm instruction anyway.    

Second: If the pain of remorse is necessary to the process, then so too is forgiveness. This is true in a practical as well as moral sense – and the two are related. 

How so? Legitimate anger is premised on the notion that (illegitimate) suffering is wrong.  To the extent that anger leads to remorse, the pain of remorse has no legitimate function beyond its role in signifying and accompany acceptance of responsibility, and thence in signifying and accompany a change in understanding, and thence behaviour. Once behaviour has changed, remorse has no further valid psychological function.  The only role it can continue to play is in relation to retribution. Or as Nussbaum calls it, ‘payback’[2].

In other words, to stay angry at someone after they have (authentically and appropriately) felt remorse – i.e. sufficient to mean that their understanding has changed, and hence their future behaviour will change - is no longer to point at the claim which your anger originally expressed, but to point at you: your desire for them to continue to suffer.  And this is illogical (and hence also morally wrong), not simply because (as Nussbaum argues) it does nothing to “restore the thing that was lost”, but because of the initial premise that motivated (and constituted) your anger in the first place: that illegitimate suffering is wrong.

This is why forgiveness is both morally and psychologically necessary.  Forgiveness prevents us falling prey to the desire to inflict further (illegitimate) suffering, which just leads to further anger. 

Importantly, however, forgiveness also implies trust: trust that your transgressor has not only changed their understanding, but that their changed understanding will lead to changed behaviour.  Now, we can choose to stay angry at someone until we see observable changes in their behaviour.  In other words, we can use sustained anger as a conditional form of ‘discipline’ against our transgressors: I will continue to hold you morally responsible for causing illegitimate suffering until you prove that you have changed. In this sense, anger is used as something like a ‘teaching tool’.

But this move runs the same sort of risks as any kind of anger: if the transgressor genuinely does feel remorse, and believes they have changed – if, in other words, they possess goodwill - your continued anger (and lack of trust) may seem like continued (and unfair) retribution. And if they don’t feel authentic remorse, then your anger has been ineffective anyway, and your continued anger will only exacerbate their resistance.

Again, for such sustained anger to be effective, the transgressor needs to be morally mature enough either to have recognised and accepted your claim, and to have recognised and managed their own reactions.  In either case, this means they are probably mature enough to be trusted (provided that you have adequately explained your claims, and there is no other unacknowledged external factor likely to impede their ability to change their behaviour.).

In light of all that, the “Jesus Strategy” – forgive the transgression, clear your mind of anger, and skip straight to the trust building move of forgiveness - perhaps doesn’t look so stupid and naïve after all. It starts to look canny and persuasive, if extremely challenging. As Mandela found, it’s definitely something you have to work hard at.

OK.  So it’s hard. And to that extent, it maybe not realistic in the short term. We all have our issues to overcome. And, to be even more realistic, it doesn’t always lead to change. What do you do if, after repeatedly playing nice, and calmly but firmly explaining the situation, your transgressor continues to do the wrong thing by you?  What if they simply don’t accept your argument, and can’t see the legitimacy of the claim you are pointing to, or don’t accept your account of why they have breached the standard? 

The guy who may or may not have been Jesus’ brother suggested this, instead: be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.  As an alternative to the Jesus Strategy, it makes sense on two levels.  First, it’s less of a stretch target for those of us who don’t aspire to be saints, and second it leverages the relationship between anger and trust to make anger more effective as a tactic for change.

Let’s call this the Modified Jesus Strategy: First build trust, and use anger with care. Choose the time and place, know your transgressor (and their likely reactions), and don’t personalise it. In other words: measure your anger, and use it only when you are confident the right conditions prevail for to have a chance at being effective. Otherwise it’s liable to be counterproductive.

But that’s all still largely at a personal level. It still doesn’t fully address the other questions I posed:

What if my claim is not simply about something that is personal and circumstantial, but systematic and social? In what sense does it make sense to be angry at “the system”, or at the people who (wittingly or unwittingly) perpetuate it?

To these I want to now add another question. Having highlighted the importance of moral maturity (i.e. peoples’ ability to manage their spontaneous reactions and accept personal responsibility), a more fundamental challenge has to be acknowledged:

What if people just lack good-will?




[1] Sometimes his view is summed up by the prescription to ‘turn the other cheek’. However, I personally don’t see this as advice about anger so much as a shrewd psychological trick to delegitimise and avoid personal violence by confronting it with a show of character. (In its own way a psychological “shock tactic” not unlike the use of natural anger, perhaps more understandable and effective in an age where the use of casual violence was almost certainly a legitimate social norm).

[2] Here, the phenomenon of ‘retribution’ can function on both sides of the relationship i.e. someone can keep ‘torturing themselves’ with remorse long after it is appropriate.

Monday 14 November 2016

What role for anger? Part 1

Inevitably, there is much talk of anger. 


The angrier we are and the more activated and directional — the more we can channel that anger into real constructive change and blocking things that are bad, so much the better.

On the other hand, a black female conservative commentator suggests that white people should be allowed to be angry, too. 

Almost everybody, it seems, claims a right to be angry.

Eminent liberal philosopher Martha Nussbaum disagrees.  Anger, she says, is illogical. “If we think closely about anger, we can begin to see why it is a stupid way to run one’s life”.  Why? Because it is partly constituted by a “hope for payback”, and a desire for payback ultimately makes no sense.

Whatever the wrongful act was – a murder, a rape, a betrayal – inflicting pain on the wrongdoer does not help restore the thing that was lost. We think about payback all the time, and it is a deeply human tendency to think that proportionality between punishment and offence somehow makes good the offence. Only it doesn’t. 

According to Nussbaum, the only circumstance in which a desire for payback makes sense is where it concerns a matter of relative social status. If restoring my relative status is all I care about, and I am concerned to humiliate the wrongdoer by knocking them down a peg or two, then anger can achieve my aims. In this circumstance anger is not illogical – but only if I don’t have to worry that the “real well-being problems created by the original act have not been solved”.

However, most of the time this is not what we are after. We look to the future, seeking amelioration.  Nussbaum calls this the Transition: a move beyond ‘ordinary anger’ in which we:

turn to the future and focus on doing whatever would make sense, in the situation, and be really helpful. This may well include the punishment of the wrongdoer, but in a spirit that is deterrent rather than retaliatory.

According to Nussbaum:

We need the Transition badly in our personal and our political lives, dominated as they all too frequently are by payback and status-focus.

Nussbaum notes, however, another form of anger, different from the ordinary anger suffused with the desire for ‘payback’:

Sometimes a person may have an emotion that embodies the Transition already. Its entire content is: ‘How outrageous! This should not happen again.’ We may call this emotion Transition-Anger, and that emotion does not have the problems of garden-variety anger.

But, she says,

most people begin with everyday anger: they really do want the offender to suffer. So the Transition requires moral, and often political, effort. It requires forward-looking rationality, and a spirit of generosity and cooperation.

Nussbaum points to Nelson Mandela as a model for this notion of Transition. Faced with the humiliation and injustice of his imprisonment on Robben Island, Mandela “rejected not only the false lure of payback, but also the poison of status-obsession”.  He struggled with his anger on a daily basis, and was able to overcome it. Both in his personal circumstances as a prisoner as the Apartheid State, and later in his public role as President of the new Republic of South Africa, he asked only, according to Nussbaum: “how shall I produce cooperation and friendship?”

Nussbaum may be right about Mandela, but I think she is wrong about anger.

She is confusing anger with the desire for retribution.  Retribution concerns a particular (very simple) attitude to justice.  It requires simply that suffering be acknowledged or balanced by suffering. This may be reasoned, or it may just be unreflectively emotional.

But either way, anger is not this.  Anger is, at its simplest, a psychological means by which we forcefully point to the fact that suffering has occurred, or is occurring.  Anger points to a limit or a standard.  It says: something here has been infringed, and by my anger I am forcefully bringing it to your attention.  This is very close to what Nussbaum calls Transition-Anger.

This is what I would call, for want of a better word, natural anger.  Sometimes it is selfish – a mere brute reaction to a perceived wrong that has no basis other than my feelings, and without real justification. I’m just being a crybaby. I want you to know I'm suffering, and maybe (hopefully?) do something about it. 

But natural anger can also express legitimate claims. In this context, the legitimate psychological role of natural anger is simply to shock another into recognition.  Legitimate anger asserts a truth independent of both of us that I want or need you to acknowledge. It works by pointing not to me, but to a standard or limit that I feel (and think) is important to the relationship between us (or between you and third party who I care about), and which I feel (and think) has been breached by the wrongful act. In this sense, it is the opposite of egotistical.  Legitimate natural anger is, to a greater or lesser extent, moral.  And to the extent that an accurate and adequate account can be given of how the standards I am pointing to have been infringed by the wrongful act, it is also reasonable (provided, of course that we can agree that the standards are themselves reasonable).

In this sense, what I am calling legitimate natural anger has no necessary link to the idea of payback.  Rather, it simply and forcefully points to my claims to suffering, giving them psychological depth and immediacy in a way that calmly explaining them often cannot. It brings my claims to your urgent and immediate attention.  And in all this, it is my reasons, not my desire for retribution, that are constitutive of my anger.

But: legitimate natural anger is almost always personal and circumstantial. It is ‘designed’ to work on the level of individual psychology.  And as Nussbaum correctly intuits, it is transitional.  On the individual level, once my anger has forcefully brought to your attention my sense of being wronged, we must begin to move away from anger to the problem of finding solutions. Solutions must be based on cooperation. This first involves you acknowledging that the standard that I am pointing to is relevant.  You acknowledge (perhaps even tacitly) that my anger is justified and reasonable. Then we must agree on a different course of action, or way of behaving, that no longer infringes the standard that I have pointed to.  Cooperation in turn relies on a restored sense of trust. I must trust you to think and act in accordance with the standard we now both acknowledge.

Trust therefore marks something like the outer limit of anger.  As trust builds, so does anger diminish.  Trust signifies that the relationship has been restored (or that we believe it can and will be), and the original anger is no longer needed.  In turn, forgiveness is a sign of this restored trust. Forgiveness means that I am no longer angry.


But if this account is accurate, it still leaves some big questions:  Firstly, at what point in this journey from anger to trust does (or should) anger disappear? When does anger stop being productive? Put another way: when does forgiveness need to start? 

Secondly, what role can or should my anger continue to play if the legitimacy of my claim to have been wronged is not recognised by you, either because you don’t accept the standard I am pointing to, or because you don’t acknowledge that your behaviour infringed the standard?  

And third, what if my claim is not simply about something that is personal and circumstantial, but systematic and social? In what sense does it make sense to be angry at “the system”, or at the people who (wittingly or unwittingly) perpetuate it? 

In short, to tie these three questions together: is there a legitimate (and therefore productive) role for sustained anger?

In all of this, is Nussbaum still right?  Despite the difference between anger and payback, is anger still illogical? And is Mandela the best and only model for a better politics that we have?